p210 true arrogance really comes from insecurity. Needing to feel that we are bigger than others comes from a nagging fear that we are smaller.
Archbishop Tutu: "Humility is the recognition that your gifts are from God. Humility allows us to celebrate the gifts of others, but it does not mean you have to deny your own gifts, or shrink from using them."
p216 Humor, like humility, comes from the same root word for humanity: humus. The lowly and sustaining earth is the source of all three words. ... we have to have a sense of humility to be able to laugh at ourselves ...
p233 Dalai Lama: Forgiveness does not mean we forget. You should remember the negative thing, but because there is a possibility to develop hatred, we musn't allow ourselves to be led in that direction --- we choose forgiveness. ... [contrary to the saying "Forgive and forget"] Not reacting with negativity .. does not mean you do not respond to the acts or that you allow yourself to be harmed again. Forgiveness does not mean that you do not seek justice or that the perpetrator is not punished.
Discussion of this textp234 Dalai Lama: There is an important distinction between forgiveness and simply allowing others' wrongdoing. Sometimes people misunderstand and think forgiveness means you accept or approve of wrongdoing. No, this is not the case. We must make an important distinction. ...The actor and the action, or the person and what he has done. Where the wrong action is concerned, it may be necessary to take appropriate counteraction to stop it. Towards the actor, or the person, however you can choose not to develop anger and hatred. This is where the power of forgiveness lies - not losing sight of the humanity of the person while responding to the wrong with clarity and firmness.
We stand firm against the wrong not only to protect those who are being harmed but also to protect the person who is harming others, because eventually they, too, will suffer. So it's out of a sense of concern for their own long term well-being that we stop their wrongdoing. We do not let anger and negative feelings develop, but we strongly oppose their actions.
Desmond Tutu: Forgiveness is the only way to heal ourselves and be free from the past. Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us. We are bound to the chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped. Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness, that person will be our jailer. When we forgive, we take back control of our own fate and feelings. We become our own liberator.
Dalai Lama: So it is totally wrong ... to say that practice of tolerance and practice of forgiveness are signs of weakness. Totally wrong. Hundred percent wrong. Thousand percent wrong. Forgiveness is a sign of strength.
Desmond Tutu: p236 Yes, there are those who think an eye for an eye is going to satisfy you. But in the end you discover that an eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind. We have an instinct for revenge, but also for forgiveness.
"The root of joy is gratefulness...It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful." - David Steindl-Rast
"So you think this is just another day in your life? It's not just another day. It is the one day that is given to you ... today." -- David Steindl-Rast
p246 David Steindl-Rast: "When you are grateful, you are not fearful, and if you are not fearful, you are not violent. If you're grateful, you act out of a sense of enough and not of a sense of scarcity, and you are willing to share. If you are grateful, you are enjoying the differences between people, and you are respectful of all people. A grateful world is a world of joyful people."
p259 Self-compassion ... is a fundamental basis for developing compassion for others. It's hard to love others as yourself ... if you don't love yourself.
p260 Jinpa: Lack of Self-compassion manifests in a harsh and judgmental relationship with ourselves. Many people believe that unless they are critical and demanding, they will be failures, unworthy of recognition and unworthy of love.
p266. Compassion and generosity ... are at the center of our humanity, what makes our lives joyful and meaningful. Jinpa: in Buddhist teachings there are three kinds of generosity: material giving, giving freedom from fear (which can involve protection, counseling or solace) and spiritual giving, which can involve giving your wisdom, moral and ethical teachings, and helping people to be more self sufficient and happier.
p275. Dalai Lama: Taking care of others, helping others, ultimately is the way to discover your own joy and to have a happy life.
p317-8. notes on Anger Mediation (one of several negative emotions covered)
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